We moved back to our passport country, America, last November. We aren’t sure what is next or when "next" will be; but for now, we are here. So much blood, sweat, and tears were spent building relationships, cultivating a cozy home, and making business. It's heartbreaking to leave the life we had built in our host country. Even through sorrow, I looked forward to some of the conveniences of America: drive-thru, Amazon, working drier, A/C, paved roads, hot showers, modern medicine, and of course, time with family.  And though I am enjoying those conveniences, I also am navigating the drawbacks and adjustments to life in America. Life isn't completely rosy in here. Repatriation is not for the faint of heart. Here are my top six hardest adjustments back in my passport country. 

Meal Planning
I am overwhelmed just walking in the grocery store.  Deciding where to begin with meal planning, impossible. This is how I used to meal plan in Africa:     
STEP 1: Surprise, find a green pepper and chicken at the market.     
STEP 2: Think to myself, “I should probably make fajitas?” In America, where do I even start? I find myself surfing the web looking at all of the possible recipes in the world, wondering what to choose. I mean, how do I decide?

Overwhelmed by Consumerism
There are a plethora of goods to buy in America. Some of it I actually need, and most of it I just want. My definition of what I need in America differs from my definition of what I need in Africa. Living in Africa is all about making do with what I had. Here are two silly examples: 
1.) If I needed curtains in Africa, I would find some old fabric and make some. If I need new curtains in America, I search on Amazon for the perfect ones.
2.) If I didn’t like my toothpaste in Africa, well, too bad.  I have to use it because the stuff they sell around the corner is nasty. If I don’t like my toothpaste in America, I just pick out a new brand while at the grocery.

Giving up on Home Remedies Too Quickly
When my daughter was sick, I would wait it out a few days with home remedies. Going to see the doctor would entail getting on a plane to fly to the capital city. She would probably get sicker on the plane. If Rowena has even a simple rash, I immediately want to call the doctor or take her in. Most of the time, if you give home remedies enough time with their help, the body will heal itself.

Less Time as a Family
We are so much busier in America. We have dinners to go to, good internet to use, and people texting us. Don’t get me wrong, I love it all, but there are far less quiet evenings at home as a family. There are fewer Saturdays spent reading and working out. There are more rushed mornings and more expectations.

Lost Purpose and Meaning
In our host country, we were there for a specific purpose and work. It was easy to find daily meaning and see a direct impact on the lives of the people around us. In our passport country, it is difficult for us to know our purpose and what God is calling us to do here. We spend lots of time in America just trying to make life easier, more comfortable, and more enjoyable.  This makes me feel like our lives have less and less purpose. I find myself asking, “What are we doing here?”

I am sure that most of you have had seasons of transition, no matter what side of the ocean you are transitioning, where meaning and purpose seems to evade you. Seasons where you felt like you were drowning in change. Seasons where you asked big questions like, "why am I here?!" Seasons where the answers seem unclear and the million choices of shampoo didn't help. I hate transitions, especially when they are paired with a feeling of purposelessness. But often times, those seasons of adjustments ushered me into some of the most fruitful times of my life. I hope the same for you!

What are some of the adjustments you have made going home to live in your passport country? Share them below!