Conflict will arise from time to time in any friendship—even the best of them— and how we manage these inevitable disagreements with our friends can play a big part in the health of the relationship. In expat life, friendships are really important to invest in so we can find community with others who understand our life. During this tea time chat, Alicia, Denise, and Melissa discuss a recent conflict they had, how they worked through it, and how they learned more about one another in the process. Communication and empathy are important skills for resolving any level of conflict. We hope this episode will leave you feeling better equipped to work through conflict in friendships whenever it arises.

Connect with us!
 Denise
 Melissa
Alicia

Questions discussed in this episode: 

What are each of our enneagram types?

What were dynamics like in your family growing up when handling conflict?

What are “trust languages”?

Noteworthy Quotes:

“I can’t stand compliment sandwiches.” — Denise

“Now I know, for anyone in my life who prefers direct communication, I need to just push through that uncomfortable feeling I have about directness and just say what I want to say. Because now I know how much it would agitate someone with that personality type.” — Alicia

“You know that whole thing where you repeat back to the person what you heard them saying? I think it’s important for me ask that, knowing that I might not be understanding you.” — Denise

“Direct people make me relax a little bit, especially if I know I can be direct.” — Melissa

“I see the Enneagram as a road map that gives me an awareness of what helps and doesn’t help in relationships.” — Alicia

“When it comes to team-dynamics, co-worker dynamics, friendships, marriage…there’s just a lot to navigate, so the quicker you can start to learn about a person, the less anxious we’ll feel when we’re interacting.” — Alicia

“It’s a very loving thing to find out about someone’s conflict style and personality.” — Melissa

“We all have our rough edges and we all have something we carry into a relationship. As brothers and sisters in Christ, our rough edges rub up against each other in conflict. But if we think of it as ‘spiritual sandpaper,’ the conflict is for a good purpose. It is worth it for our rough edges to rub up against each other, so we can smooth one another out and we can both walk away more like Christ from handling the conflict.” — Alicia

Mentioned in this episode:

Learn more about the Enneagram here.
This site’s mission is “to help you see yourself with astonishing clarity with the Enneagram through the lens of the Gospel, so you can break free from self-condemnation, fear, and shame by knowing and experiencing the unconditional love, forgiveness, and freedom in Christ.”

What’s your Enneagram number? If you don’t know it yet, take this assessment to find out.

Trust Languages PDF

Related Episodes and Articles:

Episode 03: Cultivating Christian-Muslim Friendships with Marilyn Gardner

Episode 08: Taking the Extra Few Steps with Jana Kelley

Episode 12: Navigating Cross-Cultural Marriage with Michelle Acker Perez

Episode 13: Transparency in the Expat Marriage with Colette Hernandez

Episode 19: Building Community Between Families and Singles with Amy Young

Episode 22: Navigating Hot and Cold Climate Cultures with Sarah Lanier

All About Expat Friendships with Alicia, Melissa, and Denise (a chat from 2018)

Fostering TCK Friendships: the podcast episode and the blog article

Finding Expat Friends in Unlikely Places by Taylor May

Expat Friends, We’re on the Same Team by Heather Fallis

Loving Well Long-Distance: Friends from Afar by Christie Chu

Find us online:

Join us on Instagram. 

Our sister Insta account is all about loving our TCK's well: The Traveling Academy.

Interact with other expats on our private Facebook group. 

Search for expat articles on our blog.

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Show credits: 

Hosted by Denise James, Alicia Boyce, and Melissa Faraday // produced and edited by Melissa Faraday // content managed by Alicia Boyce.

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