The Two Words Overseas Workers Need to Hear
A notecard sat on my desk for an entire year (which is like seven in expat years). Despite looking at it frequently, I can't remember most of what it said. However, there are two words in the handwritten note that are burned in my heart: thank you.During our years on the field, we have heard all kinds of things from friends, family, and supporters. They tell us:
"You are so awesome/incredible/amazing."
We don't always feel very awesome/incredible/amazing. And, if this is all I hear from a person, it makes me feel like I can't share the hard parts or the times we fail miserably.
"I could never do what you do."
I know people mean well when they say this. In fact, I think I said the same thing to my son's Kindergarten teacher, because for me, it would truly be a challenge to instruct a room of five-year-olds for an entire school year. I hope, though, that no one thinks of us as superhuman, or think that they have an excuse to say "no" if God calls them to do something out of their comfort zone.
"What a great/fascinating/memorable experience for you and your kids!"
Yes, it is, but this feels like this misses the point of why we are doing what we're doing. If all we wanted was a cool experience for our kids, we'd spend a week scuba diving in the Caribbean and then we'd GO HOME. If someone thinks that all we get from living overseas is a wonderful experience, it glosses over the parts of our lives that are hard, exhausting, or depressing.Please know that I realize these are all meant to be expressions of encouragement and admiration. We really do appreciate hearing these things (so don't feel bad if you've said them, and keep 'em coming!)Yet somehow, there is still a bit of a wall, a separation, when we hear them. They are in their world, and I'm in mine. They're looking over the wall, cheering us on, but from a distance.By contrast, thank you jumps over that wall and gives us great big hugs.When I get the rare gem of a thank you, I hear:
"The work you are doing is really important, and should be done; thank you for being the one to go do it."
"I believe in what you're doing, and I'm grateful to you for doing it."
"Thank you for being the one to sacrifice a good-paying job, a comfortable life, and being near your family."
"Thank you for making a significant difference in the world."
The Two Words Overseas Workers Need to Hear | TakingRoute.net
Wow, that touches me deeply, and means a lot to me. It says you understand the importance of why we're here, and you understand the very real sacrifices we make to keep doing this work.So, if you have a friend who is serving overseas, absolutely keep encouraging them, and gush all you want about how much you admire them.But if you want to really bowl them over, try telling them thank you.