Rousing Yourself from Expat Lethargy
“I struggled for a few months until I walked out the door once and realized it had been days since I'd left the house, and how refreshing it felt to be outside in the sun. I needed a change.”
This past fall, I went through a time of lethargy. Close friends had moved away and many of my regular activities changed as a new school year began and schedules shifted. Instead of changing with the year, I stopped joining in. I wasn't taking language lessons, wasn't inviting friends over, and I stopped getting up early to prepare myself for the day, but slept until the last moment I could. I felt drained by the daily routine.
There comes a time in each expat's life when the struggles, challenges, and difficulties are no longer exciting and novel. Daily life is a slog. Instead of rising in the morning with resolve and purpose, you want to stay in bed…or better yet, hop on a plane and get back to the place where living is easy, where you can shop, work, and talk to friends without thinking twice about how to do those things.
Everyone has those days. But sometimes a day can turn into a season.
I struggled for a few months until I walked out the door once and realized it had been days since I'd left the house, and how refreshing it felt to be outside in the sun. I needed a change. Here are a few things that got me up and moving again:
Recognizing when my energy is at its peak – I'm a morning person. I just work better in the morning. I schedule my time to get the big things done in the morning and save the afternoons for more relaxing tasks. If you're a night owl, schedule your day to reflect that. Give yourself time to be fully awake before tackling the draining demands.
Getting the hard stuff over with first – Take it from a procrastinator: Usually whatever I'm dreading ends up being easier or over more quickly than I imagined, and I always wish I hadn't spent days ignoring it. Getting that big thing off my to-do list gives me the impetus to cross more things off. Procrastination takes up mind space and drains energy. Don't put off the phone call, errand, or meeting you're dreading. Get it done, and then give yourself a small celebration.
Choosing activity – If possible, keep yourself moving. I found a 5-10 minute online Pilates class and did it six mornings a week. Afterward, I was inspired to keep moving throughout the day. And when the alarm went off a little earlier, I wasn't dreading an hour-long treadmill session. I could handle 5 minutes of motion. It's easy to start with 5-10 minutes. Grab a friend and go somewhere, or just take a walk outside. You'd be amazed at what fresh air can do for your mind and attitude. The hardest part, as they say, is putting on your shoes.
Reaching out – I'd been regularly hosting and inviting people over before the lethargy hit. When I stopped, I found it hard to get going again, because I put pressure on myself to have a large group over. Once I decided to start small and just invite someone over for coffee, I found it much easier to get back into the hang of hospitality. So go ahead--invite a friend over for coffee or go big and start a moms' group in your home. You set the tone, so you can keep it as low-key and casual as you like! Text a friend from home or send a Marco Polo video message. One little act of connection can energize you and spur you on to make more.
Starting new hobbies – I have always wanted to learn to quilt, but felt intimidated by the scale of it. I felt like I needed hours of instruction to even begin, but I didn't have big blocks of time. So I decided to break it up into small pieces, which was so much easier for me. I gave myself a little time each day to work on the new hobby. If it's painting for you, let's say, give yourself an hour one day to go and buy your materials. The next day, 30 minutes to set up a place to paint, and an hour the next to watch a YouTube tutorial. Starting small (instead of trying to wait for an open Saturday afternoon) can get you going, and new hobbies can be great pick-me-ups.
Planning a date with my host country - We have some beautiful mountains here in Armenia, and I know that when we leave I'll miss the sight of Mount Ararat. Unfortunately, we also have many hazy days when we can't see it. I started promising myself a walk on each clear day (no matter how cold!) to get outside and admire it. You might choose a location, museum, or site unique to your host nation. Find some beautiful scenery, an afternoon at an art gallery, or a historic place. Sometimes we get caught up in the day-to-day of life abroad and end up taking the place we're living for granted.With most of these things, I noticed an immediate spike in my energy and motivation. It took a couple of weeks of whispering "Choose activity," to myself when I balked at putting on my coat to go for a walk, but I began to look forward to walking and hosting once more. I became willing to go out into the community and interact again, even though I knew it'd be difficult. And I'm happy to say my season of lethargy is behind me, though not forgotten. It'll pop up again, but I'm glad to have an arsenal of things to get me out of the rut when it does.
What have you done to rouse yourself from seasons of lethargy? Please share any ideas, tips or resources. Isn't it good to not be the only one to struggle with this?!?
