Do's and Don'ts for Engaging in Social Media While Living Abroad
“I quickly learned that social media could be a source of connection and encouragement or one of self-pity and resentment.”
My relationship with social media changed dramatically when I moved overseas.
What always felt like a casual way to connect with friends and family now became a lifeline—my link to the world I left behind. I would wake up in the morning, anxious to check my phone to see what had transpired in the rest of the world while I slept. The problem was, I often found myself falling down a hole of sadness, jealousy, and discontentment when I scrolled through my newsfeed. I quickly learned that social media could be a source of connection and encouragement or one of self-pity and resentment. The way that I used and responded to those little square images on my phone screen was entirely up to me.
And through lots of learning and growth, I have come up with some dos and don’ts that have helped me navigate the tricky world of engaging in social media while living abroad.
DO stay connected to people with whom you have a real-life relationship.
I have found that going through my “friends” list and weeding out the people who I don’t actually know has helped me not get bogged down by unnecessary time and energy spent scrolling through strangers’ posts. I’m not saying to only follow people you know personally- some of the most encouraging and inspiring people I follow online are ones who I’ve never physically met.
But there is nothing wrong with hiding or unfollowing people whose feeds don’t uplift you or aren’t relevant to your life. I don’t need to see my second-grade classmate’s dog’s newest professional photo shoot. Or that obscure musical artist’s latest tattoo.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
DO listen to yourself.
How do you feel after time on Instagram or Facebook? Encouraged and connected or defeated and discontent?Listening to your body and emotions after a social-media scrolling spree can help you determine if spending time online is benefitting or hurting you. It’s inevitable, there will be times you see friends gathered together without you or a wedding you missed or a family picture you’re not in that will bring about feelings of homesickness. But how about the Pinterest scrolling that only leaves you angry because every recipe it suggests you might like calls for ingredients you don't have and PINTEREST YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE. When the negative feelings begin to outweigh the positive aspects of staying connected, maybe it’s time to sign off for a while until you’re in a better place emotionally.
DO engage in online communities.
Some of the most life-giving interactions I’ve had online have come in the form of groups like Taking Route (shameless plug) and other safe spaces with people who understand certain aspects of life abroad, homeschooling, or dealing with learning disabilities.
And some of the dearest friends I have in real-life now started as virtual friendships in these groups. Online communities can be a God-send when you don’t have a large group of people around you physically to share struggles, challenges, and victories with.
DO share your life and keep people connected to you.
I have so many people back home tell me how much they love seeing my posts of our family’s life in Laos.They like feeling connected to us and what we are doing. Don’t be intimidated by people on social media with eloquent words or curated photos on their feed—just be real and share the truth of your life with the people who love you. Family and friends back home want to know what you’re up to.
It doesn’t have to be glamorous, it just needs to be genuine. This also helps aid relationship when you’re home for a visit and people have a mental framework for your life abroad because you’ve provided them one through social media.
DON’T use it as an escape.
As with most things in life, over-indulging can lead to unhealthy habits. When I first moved abroad I would find myself escaping into social media when I felt lonely or misunderstood…which was ALL THE TIME. This wasn’t healthy and it led to me struggling to be present and content in the physical place where I was because I was trying so hard to stay connected via social media.
I learned to set boundaries for myself to help encourage more meaningful and intentional time online, rather than mindless scrolling. If you’d rather be online than engaging with the people right in front of you, it’s a good indicator that some healthy boundaries are needed. Create them, and then ask a friend to hold you accountable. Accountability works wonders.
DON’T compare.
This should be a rule of thumb no matter where in the world you find yourself, but especially when you’re living abroad.
My home and meals and life are going to look very different from my friends in America, and even from my friends living in other places in the world. When I fall into the trap of comparison, I will log off of social media discouraged every time. You absolutely cannot thrive where you are while simultaneously comparing yourself to the highlights of other people’s lives on social media.
Like, follow, comment, but don’t ever compare. It'll steal your joy faster than realizing your precious stash of peanut butter cups from home is gone.
DON’T make it a substitute for REAL-LIFE people.
Online relationships cannot meet the need we have for physical, meaningful, across-the-table interactions with people in real life. If social media becomes a substitute for these relationships or a crutch to keep from pursuing them, we run the risk of isolating ourselves from the very people God has set in our path in the places He’s led us to.
Sure, it may be harder to converse in a different language, and relationships with the communities we live among may have to be fought for. But they are real people, created in the image of God, deserving of our attention and friendship and love. And when we invest time away from social media and in the lives of people right in front of us, the reward will be better than all the “hearts” Instagram has to offer.
These are just a few things that I have found helpful in navigating the world of social media while living abroad. If you have your own DOs and DON’TS, please post them in the comments and let’s keep this conversation going!
