The Waiting Place

As part of my former job, I used to help run the kids’ program for pre-field training for staff heading overseas. It was a fairly intense, five-week program and we used Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss as a theme (so original, I know). By the end of the five weeks, we had read that book together a lot. There’s one double-page spread that still stands out to me – something that I didn’t even realize at the time was probably good for preparing these little future expats. It's the part of the book that explains The Waiting Place.

This page stands out from the rest of the book because of its dark colors and sobering reality in the midst of a book full of inspiration and adventure and color. It describes the Waiting Place as “a most useless place...for people just waiting.” People are waiting for the mail or a phone call or for a Yes or No – “Everyone is just waiting.” And haven’t we all been there? Probably not of our own volition, but I think this is one of those things we don’t realize will be part of your expat life when we're starting out. But it is oddly common: a season – short or long – where you are pulled out of your normal life and location and, for whatever reason, you have no choice but to wait.

I’m in one of those seasons right now. I’m 35-weeks pregnant and have been back in the States for about a week and a half, just waiting. And it’s a really odd place to be, this forced downtime between the busy rush of a school year, now cut short, and the overwhelm of becoming new parents and being handed a tiny human to take care of. Not to mention, I’m staying in a short-term rental in a city I’ve never lived in before. This is my Waiting Place. Maybe you’ve been in a similar Waiting Place before. Maybe it’s been due to medical reasons. Maybe you're waiting on a visa that leaves you stranded in a place that’s not your home for an extended time. Or maybe you’re in the middle of raising support to leave for your new assignment overseas and things have stalled and you feel like you’ll never get to that next stage of life you're so eager to get to. I’m sure there are a million more reasons that could have you in this in-between place. It seems it is inevitable. At some point in your expat life, there will be a Waiting Place season.

So what can we do to keep our hopes up when we find ourselves in these Waiting Places? Here are a few ideas to get started:

Know your emotions are valid and give grace to yourself. If you’re in a Waiting Place, you’re probably in the middle of a little bit of chaos. The chaos stage is a normal part of transition – but it typically leads to being able to settle into your new place. In a season of waiting, it’s more like suspended animation -- where you don’t get to settle because you know it’s temporary, so those feelings of uprootedness and loneliness and chaos might just persist throughout. This is really hard and can bring a lot of messy emotions. So when they come: know they are valid. Give grace to yourself and try to remember the season for what it is: just a season.

Take advantage of the time to rest. Our cross-cultural lives are often so draining. Simple errands can take so much time and effort, communicating and building relationships involves putting yourself out of your comfort zone, and you don’t have the creature comforts of your passport country. Burn-out is a real issue. I know it can be really difficult to go from a busy, normal life and working hard to all of a sudden not. You feel guilty. You feel like you should be doing something – but sometimes you genuinely can't do anything. Take advantage of it! Try and flip your perspective and see it as a gift of time when you can rest and catch your breath. Maybe even take some time to indulge in some of the things you don’t usually get to in your normal overseas life (for me right now in America, that’s ice cream and flavored seltzer water and Chick-fil-a, obviously).

Seek out community, even if it’s temporary. This might be easier said than done, and might be dependent on where you are. But being away from your home and your normal and your friends can be lonely, and it could be very easy to get stuck in that. If you’re going back to a place you’ve been before, try reaching out to people you know – even if it feels awkward. Make an effort to go to church and maybe even a small group. And, if all else fails, maybe this is a season where you can reach out to internet friends – some of whom might more genuinely understand the season you’re walking through.

Whether it was planned or something you were thrust into unexpectedly, it's hard to be out of your normal routine and in the Waiting Place. We might be whole-heartedly nodding along with Dr. Seuss when he says this is "a most useless place." But we wouldn't be in these seasons if it wasn't for the sake of something ultimately good: a healthy baby, for example, or an extended visa, or more financial security as you head back to your overseas home. And as we wait on these things, we can trust that the God who sees knows where we are, and that even if we're not moving He still is. In light of this, as we seek to persevere in a season of waiting, let's practice keeping our eyes up and actively looking for how this Waiting Place might not be so useless after all.

So, for those of you who have experienced this – maybe in longer and deeper ways – what would you add, or what encouragement would you give for those who are currently sitting in The Waiting Place?