Posts in Building Community
Where Do I Belong?
Where Do I Belong?

During the years we were preparing to move abroad, I was a stay-at-home-mom with a full time job fundraising support, and my husband continued to work at his job. Raising our salary for living abroad took a long time, for various reasons, so my daughter was already six when we left for language school. Her little years were spent in suburban paradise: we lived in an affluent, exclusive neighborhood with trails, pools, parks, and neighborly friends and acquaintances. Our home was a three-bedroom condo on the second floor, so I often felt like a fraud among the homeowners maintaining expansive HGTV-level homes with private yards. Yet, smallest home on the block aside, I belonged. I went to mom groups, coffee dates with friends, and had neighbors on whom I could pop in. We attended church with my husband’s family, spent every weekend playing with cousins, and deepened roots in our hometown that had been growing since we were babies.

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Building CommunityRosalie Duryee Comments
We're Just Going to Move Again
We're Just Going to Move Again

When I moved to Germany with my husband and one year old child, we figured we’d have two years to live here, three if we were lucky. We packed six large suitcases, bought three one-way plane tickets, and moved into a very tiny apartment we furnished on a tight budget from the IKEA discount section. I stocked my home with what we needed to get by. Why settle in when we only had a couple years here?

I stocked my heart in a similar fashion.

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Building CommunityGuest Writer Comment
10 Things Expats Want Their Friends and Family to Know
10 Things Expats Want Their Friends and Family to Know

In the expat community, we are familiar with Sarah Turnball’s quote, “It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace nothing is ever the same.'' After moving to another culture, there is no returning to the former self. You become a different person than you were before stepping on the plane. 

But for our loved ones who have never lived outside their passport country, there is another popular saying: You don’t know what you don’t know. There is zero possible way for our friends and families to understand the complexities of how we changed, and who we are becoming as we grow into our new life as an expat without clear communication. We must be willing to share with them honestly.  

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Family & TCKs, Building CommunityDenise James Comments
Finding Expat Friends in Unlikely Places
Finding Expat Friends in Unlikely Places

I could sit on the porch of the coffee shop just outside of the farmer's market forever. As long as I've got something to sip on, I'm content to sit and watch the myriad of expats pass by with their totes full of things to make dinner with, or to share with friends. I spot several Trader Joe's shopping totes and look down at my own and grin. Some of the passersby and I come from the same place. Most of the expats around me are clearly from other places. They look and sound very different.

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Building CommunityTaylor Mayfriendships, Friendships, expat relationships, RelationshipsComment
We Need Each Other
We Need Each Other

Teams comes in all different shapes and sizes. Different passport countries — different experiences that led us overseas, and different life stages — which all add to the diversity that is often found in expat communities.

Diversity can be a beautiful thing, but it can also be challenging. Different perspectives can be helpful, but that means not everyone thinks like I do. Everybody has a unique skill set that complements others’ and each serves to accomplish the task, but that means we have to depend on each other. Experienced team members have a lot of wisdom about the country, the work, and the people, but it can be hard for newcomers to understand and accept that wisdom.

Sometimes it’s easier to stick with those with whom I have the most in common. Working with people who are different than me requires more effort, humility, and grace. It’s hard enough to work alongside those people in my passport country, not to mention overseas where everything is different. My tendency is to gravitate towards others like me.

But I don’t think this is the way we were meant to do life.

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Building Community, New ExpatMallory Brooksteaming, team relationships, community, differences, singleness, familyComment
Expat Friendships: Loving Hard and Loving Fast
Expat Friendships: Loving Hard and Loving Fast

I know someone warned me this would happen at some point. Multiple people, I'm sure, told me to prepare my heart for this.

“People will come and go,” they said. “Your life will be in a constant state of flux and transition will be your new normal.” I'm sure I smiled and nodded with every intention of taking the advice they'd shared. But somehow it still shocked me when the first wave of people started to say they were leaving.

I was nervous about making new friends when we moved. I think I translated the warnings about the come-and-go nature of people living overseas to mean I needed to guard myself. I thought I needed to be very picky and choosey about who I spent my time with because you never know when they can up and leave.

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Building Community, New ExpatTaylor MayComment