Off the Edge of the Map
“You’re off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters!”
Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
A life overseas takes us to the edge of our known world and into an unknown world. In ancient times cartographers would draw dragons and sea monsters on maps to mark the delineation of distant and unexplored territory. When we move overseas we find ourselves off the edge of the map of our comfort zone, knowledge, and experience.
So, how does one navigate the unknown? How do you go forward when the world in front of you looks nothing like the world you left behind? Although I think this topic is complex enough to warrant the writing of a book, I offer three suggestions for living life off the known map. One is accurate self-knowledge, another is accurately and fearlessly defining your current reality, and the third is a cultural guide.
Know Thyself
Accurate knowledge of oneself is important for everything. It empowers us to make good choices. Self-awareness helps us understand our triggers. It is no secret that slight cracks in our personality can become fissures in another country due to all the stressors. Really knowing who we are helps prevent our weaknesses from overpowering us and enables us to better engage with the world. Accurate self-awareness keeps us healthy and prevents self-sabotage. Knowing who we are best equips us to face the unknown.
I would recommend the enneagram for folks who want to know more about who they are. Admittedly, I am a latecomer to the enneagram party but I think it is extremely helpful in raising self-awareness, which leads to better self-regulation. Self-regulation leads to improved navigational abilities in uncharted territory and helps us deal with all the proverbial “dragons and monsters” of the unknown—and most importantly, prevents us from becoming the monsters. I heard someone describe the enneagram as a master class in self-discovery. I definitely agree.
Mind the Gap
When we accurately and fearlessly declare our current reality, we are in a better position to bridge the gap between where we are and where we are going. In the London Underground (subway) there is a sign on the platform that says “mind the gap,” referring to the space between the platform and the train to help prevent travelers making a misstep. We also need to mind the gap between our current reality and the reality that we are approaching—between staying on the map and going off the map. When we mind the gap, we are better able to label the gap. Is the gap a lack of knowledge? Is the gap a lack of understanding? Is the gap comprised of conflicts? In the moment of defining the gap and our current reality we have the opportunity to choose direction. Do we proceed off the map or do we course correct and stay on the map? Identifying the gap between our current reality and our approaching reality helps us to make difficult decisions on how we need to bridge the gap. Identifying the gap also helps equip us to face the monsters of the unknown and reorients us to better face the new reality.
A Cultural Guide
It is important to remember that what is new territory for you is home for someone else. Find someone who is at home in the culture and with whom you have a bond. It is best if it is someone with whom you are unafraid to appear foolish and even stupid. You may be struggling to understand customs or roles or even your own role in this new place—but there are people all around you who are at home and everything is commonplace. Additionally, some are excited by the idea of sharing their culture with a foreigner. Find your guide. Having a guide will help decrease anxiety and they will help pave the way for you as you venture into uncharted territory.
I have lived in Honduras, Chile, Zambia, and Cambodia and every country presented unique challenges and took me off of the map to uncharted territory and into the land of the uncomfortable, the awkward, and at times the terrifying. I have encountered more than my fair share of monsters, and there was a time or two (or three) when I became the monster. Although the three guidelines offered here cannot be taken as a foolproof recipe against disaster when traveling through the unknown, they can help you reorient yourself in a disorienting environment.
Exploring uncharted territory is taxing. It is both physically and emotionally draining. Gear up! Pray up! Fill up! Persevere and conquer the unknown by making it known—step by step.
