I don't want to go back.There. It's out now.  Free for all of the web-a-world to see.  I've been afraid to say it out loud; fearful that admitting it will make me weak, wrong or make it more true.When we sold almost everything seven years ago and moved 10,000 miles away, it was easier.  The adventure was before me.  What's that old saying?  Ignorance is bliss.I had yet to get that call that my grandmother suddenly died in her kitchen, alone.  I hadn't missed my brother's medical school graduation.  I hadn't missed holding my new nieces and kissing their soft little cheeks.  I hadn't missed birthdays, Thanksgivings and Saturday morning cups of coffee with friends.The internet is a beautiful thing.  It helps me to stay connected.  But it can feel artificial.  I'm always watching life of my loved ones unfold on a screen while I am oceans away.I don't long for the perpetual heat.  And the people questioning my every move, watching my children like hawks and taking picture of us like they are the paparazzi and we are the Jolie-Pitt clan.

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