Here's the First Thing You Need to Read Once You've Moved Overseas
Guest article by Jonathan Trotter
So, you’re going to do it.
You’re moving to a country that’s foreign to you, with a language you don’t understand, a climate that you’re not used to, and a whole lot of people you don’t know.
You’ve got your reasons, and I’m sure they’re tremendous. You’ve got your plans and your goals, and maybe you’ve even got a calling. Those are all good things, so as someone who’s lived abroad longer than some (and shorter than others), I’d like to welcome you and say CONGRATULATIONS!
In addition to a hearty welcome, I’d also like to offer some musings for the move. Here are some concepts and resources that have been a deep well of help for me, and many others too.
Some Concepts for the Craziness
In getting on the plane (or boat or train or camel), you move from the Idealist/Ignorant stage of cross-cultural life to the Learner/Survivor stage. You can read more about these stages here, but in the meantime, here’s a short recap:
Idealist/Ignorant—Pre-field
We need the idealist. Idealism is a fantastic place to start; it’s just not a fantastic place to stay. Idealism is not what’s dangerous — it’s ignorance.
The main difference between the idealist and the ignorant is that the ignorant person doesn’t know what it is that they don’t know. And it’s a lot. The idealist knows they don’t know everything, so they’re safer. The idealist is a daydreamer, and fully aware of the reality around them, while the ignorant is just lost in a fantasy.
Goals for this stage:
1. Don’t be ignorant.
2. Protect your ideals, while purposefully listening to the reality of some who’ve gone before you. You’re not the first person God’s called across cultures, and you won’t be the last.
Learner/Survivor—Arrival to Year Two
A learner is an idealist who’s landed. They don’t know stuff, but they’re super excited to find out. They don’t know how to even ask for stuff, but they’re going to find out. They don’t know who’s who and what’s where and when’s good, but they know how to breathe, ask around, walk the street, and…learn.
The learner’s goal is to discover, to learn about a culture, a history, to meet new people, to make new memories. The survivor’s goal is to not die.
Goals for this stage:
1. Learn as much as you can (about language, culture, workers who’ve come before you, the state of the local church before your arrival, etc.)
2. Recognize your need for mentors, and find some (expats and nationals).
Don’t forget to snatch sabbath
In the rush and hubbub of goodbyes, hellos, and the infamous TRANSITION, don’t forget to rest. Of course, sabbath will look different in your new place. There might not be fuzzy blankets and scented candles. It might look like noise-canceling headphones (to drown out the roosters) and a fan (to drown out the heat). Whatever it takes, don’t neglect your soul.
Use your resources, and remember that some of the most powerful resources are not websites or books, but your awareness of the Living God and the fact that he is near.
The most fruitful thing I can do today (and any day), is to stay connected to the heart of Jesus.
Find Some Simple Prayers
Simple prayers have helped me tremendously. Prayers like,
“I will worship the Lord my God. I will serve only him.”
“You will never leave me or forsake me. You are with me even to the end of the age.”
“Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
“Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ above me, Christ below me, Christ in me, the hope of glory.”
Even with a language-fried brain, I can still pray these prayers. I can repeat these even through the power cuts and the karaoke (which can magically happen at the same time). Find some simple prayers and repeat them often.
Remember to Laugh
Things will be hard. They just will be. And there will be times when you’ll need to cry and let others cry too.
And there are times when laughing very hard will be brave defiance; a dare to the darkness impinging. Satan, the lying burglar, loves to steal joy. But Jesus, the rough-hewn Carpenter, loves to give it back.
So guard your laughter, not as a cheap escape from reality, but as a violent act of rebellion. After all, to remember the sun’s existence on a rainy day is to remember Reality. Dancing in the downpour is a prophetic thing: It will not always storm.
Some Resources
In addition to this site right here (and the accompanying podcast), here are some other resources that are incredibly helpful for the expat life.
Started in 2012, A Life Overseas has hosted over a THOUSAND articles on cross-cultural living. That’s a lot, so I’ve curated the list down to the eight-five most-read articles, and I’ve grouped them by section.
Consider it the Table of Contents for a book on cross-cultural living, grief, TCKs, common pitfalls, transition, short-term volunteers, relating to senders, and a whole lot more. And it’s all free.
Don’t miss this treasure of a blog.
Serving Well: Help for the Wannabe, Newbie, or Weary Cross-cultural Christian Worker
Elizabeth and I wrote this for you. It’s organized around the typical life-cycle of the cross-cultural worker, starting off with preparing, then moving, and so on. It’s designed to be picked up and read as needed, with hefty sections on TCKs, grief, marriage, recalculating when things go sideways, and more.
“What a lovely book this is! While it contains countless practical tips and strategies for success in cross-cultural ministry, it is not simply one more ‘how-to’ manual. From the first sentence on, Jonathan and Elizabeth Trotter call us to remember the reason for this journey—the story of redemption Jesus offers to broken individuals and society. Servers who return to this simple truth over and over find faith, strength and renewal throughout their entire journey as well as fruit that lasts. This is a soul-encouraging book. I highly recommend it to all who have or will be going into this cross-cultural lifestyle.” —Ruth E. Van Reken, co-author, Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, 3rd ed., co-founder Families in Global Transition.
I hope you’re aware of the online space that is Velvet Ashes. I was sold on Velvet Ashes from the start, but after hearing from many clients about the support and friendships and encouragement that have come out of Velvet Ashes communities, I’m even more sold on its importance in the lives of ladies serving cross-culturally!
In addition to weekly content and book clubs and small groups, their annual retreat ministers to ladies globally. I’ve been the beneficiary of this retreat on multiple occasions, as my wife has returned encouraged and refreshed.
Once again, welcome to the expat life and congratulations! Remember to use your resources (internal and external), rest, connect with peers and mentors. And please, don’t forget to laugh.
The guest article was written by Jonathan Trotter, co-author of "Serving Well: Help for the Wannabe, Newbie, or Weary Cross-Cultural Christian Worker." He serves in Southeast Asia, providing pastoral counseling at a local counseling center. He also serves as one of the pastors at an international church. Before moving to the field with his wife of nineteen years and their four kids, he served as a youth pastor in the Midwest for ten years and as an inner-city ER/trauma nurse for three years. He enjoys walking with people towards Jesus and eating imported Twizzlers. You can connect with Jonathan via Facebook, Twitter, and his website.
Do you have language learning goals for the new year? The One Word at a Time Language Learning Notebook is great for goal setting, planning, and keeping your notes organized.