I See You: A Letter to the Expat Mom

Guest article by Colette Hernandez

Hi Momma,

I see you.

I see you in my mind's eye. I see you waiting to exit the plane in your new country. You are excited, nervous and distracted. You are tired and haggard. You just survived an international flight with your little ones. You are wondering about a shower. You are wondering about your new bed. What will your new life be like away from home? How will your kids adjust? What awaits your family so far from their grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles? What kind of home can you create for your littles? For your husband?

So many questions....so few answers.

Above all the questions, above the lingering airplane smells and exhaustion—I see you. And you know what I see? I see courage. You are brave, Momma. You are moving forward. You are obeying. You are setting aside everything—your own comfort, desires and worries—to go. You are brave, Momma.

I see you, Momma, in language school. You just had to leave your littles with someone you don't know, with someone who doesn't speak your child’s language. You are nervous about language. You are intimidated. You don't have much time to practice. You don't have much energy to go out and work on your new language. You’re wondering if you will ever be able to go out without everyone staring at you and your littles. You want to smack the next person who pinches your baby's cheek. You are tired and tears of frustration are falling.

Above the exhaustion, above the frustration, I see you working on memorizing vocabulary while you fix dinner. I see you doing your homework long after everyone else has gone to bed. I see you smile at the lady who is rubbing your baby's head. I see you practice a few new words with your neighbor. I see you, and you are brave.

I see you, Momma. You're tired from homeschooling your kids all day. You want to hide from the world outside your home. Inside your home, you feel comfortable. Inside your home, you are in control. Inside your home, you can feel almost normal. Inside your home, you are an expert.

Outside your home, people have misconceptions about you and your children. Outside your home you have to be "on." Outside your home there are high expectations. Outside your home you still feel like a rookie even though you’ve been in this country awhile now.

Above the expectations and intimidations, I see you go outside with your kids. I see you help your littles understand what the neighborhood kids are saying. I even see you play hide-and-seek with the neighborhood kids so your littles won't be intimidated. I see you go to your neighbor's house and introduce yourself. I see you go to the grocery store and befriend the cashier. I see you invest in the girls down the street. I see you, and you are brave.

I see you, Momma, sending your baby away to boarding school. I see your tears and your broken heart. I see you avoid your baby's room to avoid the pain. I see you set a place for your baby at the dinner table because it's habit and it's the way it should be. I see the broken prayers early in the morning. I see you crying out for things to be different.

Above the tears and the prayers, I see you smile for your baby on Skype. I see you cheer for her on social media when you can't cheer for her in person. I see you give up your desires so that your baby can have opportunities she couldn't have at home. You know what I see? I see courage. I see you, Momma and you are brave.

And even though I only see you in my imagination, there is One who does see you where you are.

He is the One above your struggle. He is the One above your tears. He is the One above your sacrifices. There is one who sees you and He knows you.

Hang in there, Momma, because you are seen. And you are brave.

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13