Posts in New Expat
Grocery Shopping and Other Unexpected Expat Skills

While prepping for the weekend errand run, I stopped and realized the internal dialogue that was running through my head.

We need bread and meat, so we’ll stop at that one store with the good butcher and the bread we like. However, other things are more expensive there, so we’ll swing by the store on our corner after to get everything else on the list. That first store has ramps in and wide aisles, so we can put the baby in the stroller, and they have carts we can put the toddler in. But the stroller does not fit easily in that second store, so one parent will stay in the car while the other runs in. Let’s also plan on eating dinner out tonight, so we can pop into that other store after to grab any final things left on the list. Oh, and they have that cheaper brand of diapers, so we can get those there too. And of course, I’ll do the produce order for delivery on Monday morning as well.

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Moving, Arriving, and Landing without Face-Planting | Episode 05

At long last, Alicia is back! She's recovered from her whirlwind trip back to Indonesia, and her return inspired today's episode about moving overseas for the first time. In this episode, we discussed how we prepared when we first moved overseas, how we handled (and still handle) those wretched goodbyes, and what helped us when we landed in a new country and culture.

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Floor Drains, Finger Crinkles, and Other House Management Essentials | Episode 04

Where are all our housekeeping fans? {crickets, crickets}

Okay, so house cleaning and home management might not top our list of fun pastimes, but they are a necessary part of this overseas life. Whether you keep a sparkling clean house, or you fall into the “God bless this mess” camp, this episode is for you. Our friend, Sharon, joined us to talk all about our home management personalities, household help, and fun tips for keeping up with the demands of life in a busy home. And what house management discussion wouldn't be complete without talking about finger crinkles and floor drains?

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Fostering TCK (Third Culture Kid) Friendships | Episode 02

Our discussion this week is all about TCK friendships. This topic can be a tough one, but it's oh so important for the health and happiness of our kiddos in their life overseas.

In this episode we break down the discussion into the Early Years, the Middle Years (aka "The Hay Day of School Age Kids"), and then on into the Tween and Teen Years. We talk about things we have done to help our kids develop friendships, our successes and failures, how our perspectives have shifted over the years, and what it looks like to be proactive in creating opportunities for our kids to find friendship.

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It's Tea Time Somewhere Episode 01 : New Beginnings

We’re chatting about new beginnings (NOT new goals). As expats, we don’t have to wait for a new year to roll around to experience new beginnings. Whether it’s a new location, new language, new schooling choice, or new housing situation every time you return to your passport country — it can bring a roller coaster of feelings.

We’ll be chatting about our most recent ‘new beginnings’, what we learned through it, and the unexpected blessings each experience brought us.

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Resurrecting My Hair: A Metaphor for Expat Life

I have the hair of a Mediterranean sea goddess. I discovered this last fall when our family traveled to Malta for a conference, and every single one of my ringlets was living its best life every day. One morning, I came out of the bathroom after catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and shrieked to my husband, “I actually woke up like this!” They were so tight and bouncy I got compliments on my “haircut” when I posted photos.

The humidity, the sea breeze, the silky hotel pillowcase and the relaxed atmosphere of the conference that enabled me to primp a bit in the morning created the perfect environment for my curls to thrive. I only needed to wash my hair two times the whole week. The rest of the time I spritzed with a little water, added a tiny bit of product to combat the frizz, and twisted the few disobedient ringlets back in shape. To my amazement, they stayed all day.

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We Need Each Other

Teams comes in all different shapes and sizes. Different passport countries — different experiences that led us overseas, and different life stages — which all add to the diversity that is often found in expat communities.

Diversity can be a beautiful thing, but it can also be challenging. Different perspectives can be helpful, but that means not everyone thinks like I do. Everybody has a unique skill set that complements others’ and each serves to accomplish the task, but that means we have to depend on each other. Experienced team members have a lot of wisdom about the country, the work, and the people, but it can be hard for newcomers to understand and accept that wisdom.

Sometimes it’s easier to stick with those with whom I have the most in common. Working with people who are different than me requires more effort, humility, and grace. It’s hard enough to work alongside those people in my passport country, not to mention overseas where everything is different. My tendency is to gravitate towards others like me.

But I don’t think this is the way we were meant to do life.

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Expat Friendships: Loving Hard and Loving Fast

I know someone warned me this would happen at some point. Multiple people, I'm sure, told me to prepare my heart for this.

“People will come and go,” they said. “Your life will be in a constant state of flux and transition will be your new normal.” I'm sure I smiled and nodded with every intention of taking the advice they'd shared. But somehow it still shocked me when the first wave of people started to say they were leaving.

I was nervous about making new friends when we moved. I think I translated the warnings about the come-and-go nature of people living overseas to mean I needed to guard myself. I thought I needed to be very picky and choosey about who I spent my time with because you never know when they can up and leave.

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8 Rules of Transition

I have moved to a third new country in seven years (and that’s not counting all the moves back and forth to my passport country.) Your story is probably similar if you are reading this blog, and let’s be honest, it is exhausting. Besides the logical nightmare of moving countries, there is the emotional nightmare of finding your place and your meaning again.

During the previous moves and other life transitions I started to compile a mental list of rules to help me with the transition. These rules, silly and serious, have helped me settle into life in a new host country, and I hope some of them resonate with you as well.

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Here's the First Thing You Need to Read Once You've Moved Overseas

So, you’re going to do it.

You’re moving to a country that’s foreign to you, with a language you don’t understand, a climate that you’re not used to, and a whole lot of people you don’t know.

You’ve got your reasons, and I’m sure they’re tremendous. You’ve got your plans and your goals, and maybe you’ve even got a calling. Those are all good things, so as someone who’s lived abroad longer than some (and shorter than others), I’d like to welcome you and say CONGRATULATIONS! 

In addition to a hearty welcome, I’d also like to offer some musings for the move. Here are some concepts and resources that have been a deep well of help for me, and many others too.

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When the Expectation Balloon Popped

Do you remember the early days of your cross-cultural journey? Maybe those days when you were packing and announcing your plans to friends and family and saying some hard good-byes. But those goodbyes were overshadowed by the excitement to come, the realization of a life of significance, the answer to a call,

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Anchoring in the Midst of Transition

Our journey to living abroad has been marked by "last times" and living like nomads. Like many who embark on new lives across an ocean, we experienced a last Christmas, a last set of seasons at home, a last time for certain experiences, and the list goes on. When we sold our home in the foothills of the Cascades with a view of Mt. Rainier, we lived temporarily with family for three weeks before we drove across the United States to spend a year in Texas. After a week of hard work, we put our condo on the market. I took a photo, wrote a caption, and claimed a hashtag so I could look back on the defining moment for years to come (#goodbyeklahaniehome). We then spent two weeks celebrating Christmas as we knew it before we said goodbye to the place where my husband and I had grown up and where we started a family. Now, we were leaving this place.

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A Little Advice to My Pre-Expat Self

It seems like our journey to our host country took an eternity, so I had plenty of time to prepare. Then, when we arrived, we felt woefully unprepared! How did that happen?As we near a year overseas, I have been remembering how I felt in the stressful months leading up to our move. If my future self could have walked alongside her, what would I have said? If I could write a letter to my pre-expat self, what would I tell her? That depends on how far in the past I could send my letter! I’d tell my high school self to apply herself in Spanish class, study abroad, and keep it up because 15 years later, she’ll be living in Spain. I’d tell my college self to make friends with international students. I’d tell that young married couple not to get a cat because giving him away to a stranger will feel like abandoning a child. (Although, I can't imagine those tender first years without him.)

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