Posts tagged moving forward
Resurfacing Trauma, Raising TCKs, and Rekindling Joy

Early in my twenties, I married a grounded and reliable man who shared my growing faith. We bought a house, brought two children into the world, and started to put down our roots. But despite my desire for roots and security, our family was meant for a big international move. We knew this also meant lots of goodbyes, paring down favorite things, and sleeping in unfamiliar homes. Here we had worked so hard to build a life of constancy for our children, and now we were dragging them all over the country and then across the world, away from everything they had known. It was difficult for me, watching my children struggle with all the uncertainty. I wanted to create a life where they felt safe and secure – something far different than the life of loss and abandonment I had experienced in my own childhood.

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A Little Advice to My Pre-Expat Self

It seems like our journey to our host country took an eternity, so I had plenty of time to prepare. Then, when we arrived, we felt woefully unprepared! How did that happen?As we near a year overseas, I have been remembering how I felt in the stressful months leading up to our move. If my future self could have walked alongside her, what would I have said? If I could write a letter to my pre-expat self, what would I tell her? That depends on how far in the past I could send my letter! I’d tell my high school self to apply herself in Spanish class, study abroad, and keep it up because 15 years later, she’ll be living in Spain. I’d tell my college self to make friends with international students. I’d tell that young married couple not to get a cat because giving him away to a stranger will feel like abandoning a child. (Although, I can't imagine those tender first years without him.)

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